Pieta
What might have been the passion behind this?
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
The best gift
It was around 11 in the morning and it was my birthday.I was thinking of the dream which made me wake up and panic at 4.The dream was that I will reply to around hundred birthday wishes only to realise later that messages will be charged for that day. Deep in my subconcious mind my birthday too was something like Christmas and New year.
Then my phone rang.The number resembled nothing less than a geometric progression.
“Hello”-said I
“Hello,Happy Birthday”- said the voice
“Nicky,it is a surpise call”-
Nickeisha is my penfriend from US.
“But before that, Am I not the first one to wish you,still 2 minutes to go for twelve”-said Nicky.
The clock on my wall looked puzzled.
My mind then brought out an old geography text from its cupboard.
“Yeah it is going to be twelve”-said I”But only thing is twelve at noon”
“What?”
“Oh……..I am going to break this Greenwich meridian”-said my friend, evidently dissappointed.
Nicky is an early bird who sleeps at 9 and wakes up at 4 to catch the worm. She had kept the alarm at 12 to wake up and wish me.
That call which I received at noon is the sweetest wish I ever received.
What better birthday gift can a pen-friend give.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Me and my maker
Me: I feel lonely. I want friends
God: Ok, I will see to it
After two weeks
God: Are you not happy now? I gave you enough friends.
I looked at him.
God: How should I decipher that?
Me: I am getting lost in the crowd. I have lost touch with myself. I want my solitude back.
God: Shut up and get lost.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Reflections
The train moved, cutting through the endless landscape which it touched and left, evoking nostalgia and desire, surpassing life and death. The ever fascinating eternity eluded at the reach of hand.
The train sighed and halted after a while and I was called back to life . Opposite to me was sitting a boy, with big broad eyes that could absorb the world inside. Was there tears in that? Why is it that he was not looking at anything with those those innocent eyes of his ? I know that through those eyes world would be a better place. Did the mind fail his eyes?.
"What is wrong my son?"- I did not ask.
"Have you ever been thrown out of the ruthless race in world?, Or have you been crushed underneath some burden so personal to you? Or is it that you fear to look into the future?
Are you feeling lonely? Should I shelter you under my solitude?"- These words never came out.
"Emotional idiot you are"- murmured the world.
My hands never touched his forehead. My words never reached his heart. My eyes never consoled his eyes.
I walked out of the train and crossed the rails.
As I took steps forward, I gave a last look to the past. There he was sitting in the seat opposite to his, with his eyes fixed deep in the past. Breathing in the nostalgia which he could never have lived.
The train sighed and halted after a while and I was called back to life . Opposite to me was sitting a boy, with big broad eyes that could absorb the world inside. Was there tears in that? Why is it that he was not looking at anything with those those innocent eyes of his ? I know that through those eyes world would be a better place. Did the mind fail his eyes?.
"What is wrong my son?"- I did not ask.
"Have you ever been thrown out of the ruthless race in world?, Or have you been crushed underneath some burden so personal to you? Or is it that you fear to look into the future?
Are you feeling lonely? Should I shelter you under my solitude?"- These words never came out.
"Emotional idiot you are"- murmured the world.
My hands never touched his forehead. My words never reached his heart. My eyes never consoled his eyes.
I walked out of the train and crossed the rails.
As I took steps forward, I gave a last look to the past. There he was sitting in the seat opposite to his, with his eyes fixed deep in the past. Breathing in the nostalgia which he could never have lived.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Great Sanity
“There has not been any great talent without an element of madness"-I quoted Seneca, blowing smoke out of the imaginary cigarette that I was smoking.
"Every artist had been somewhat insane"
I took another deep puff
"But that doesn't mean that every insane person is an artist"-said my friend blowing smoke out of her original cigarette.
I gave up-both smoking and quoting.
"Every artist had been somewhat insane"
I took another deep puff
"But that doesn't mean that every insane person is an artist"-said my friend blowing smoke out of her original cigarette.
I gave up-both smoking and quoting.
The Newcomer
It was a Friday evening(Although it won't make any difference if it was some other day of the week). But the time and place of occurrence might be of your concern. It was around nine at night and I was sitting in the train waiting for the train to leave. Two of my neighboring berths were occupied. A perfectly dressed old man of around 70 and another perfectly dressed old(?) man of around 40 occupied the upper and lower berths opposite to me.I seriously doubt that, that man of around 40 shaves twice a day, for his face gave an impression that his was born beardless and that he will live beardless. A good enough challenge to take up in life. And you should not blame me if I express my doubts regarding him having ironed his dress twice .His frame-less spectacles seemed to have been purchased that evening.Here come a man who is extremely serious about everything-announced the air about him.And as he moved people who shaved once and ironed once gave way to him in admiration.
The train was announcing its departure when another man came gliding through the crowd into our compartment.
And when I say that people were reluctant to give way to him and that some even called him names you can guess the way he dressed.
"Second class is over there"-said someone
"No No,I want to get into this"-said he panting for breath but still making his way.
"I am sorry for the fuss"-said he in his squeaky voice after positioning himself next to my well dressed fellow traveler.
"Um"-said the well dressed man.Making it evident that he knew several men who lacks proper planning in life.
The newcomer took some time to settle.He first tried out several positions for his bags but when he found the right one, he was doubtful whether he took those essential documents he was supposed to carry on that journey and then he had to dump out all he had in his bag to check for the same.The process went on and the well dressed man meanwhile started with a book. Something of the size which my grandma uses to straighten her clothes(by keeping underneath).
After having his food newcomer turned to the well dressed man.
"Theology"-he asked indicating the book.The voice did have a tint of admiration.But that could be what the air about the man added.
"Yes"-said the man.The duration of the yes made it clear that it was no matter to be discussed with stupids like you.
But the newcomer managed to strike up a conversation.
The conversation went on and I could see that the newcomer was impressed. He resembled an attentive student.
And I turned my attention to other things.
After around two hours the well dressed man who was evidently happy of the opportunity to express his knowledge said to the new comer.
"For any doubts regarding that,you can refer this book"
"Thank you"-said the newcomer in a thankful voice.
Then the well dressed man went to sleep and the newcomer after re-positioning himself turned to the book..
"Ai...but this is my book"--said he in his innocent voice and without waiting for the well dressed man's response he went to other compartment in search of his missing bag.
"Art is the only serious thing in the world. And the artist is the only person who is never serious."
— Oscar Wilde
The train was announcing its departure when another man came gliding through the crowd into our compartment.
And when I say that people were reluctant to give way to him and that some even called him names you can guess the way he dressed.
"Second class is over there"-said someone
"No No,I want to get into this"-said he panting for breath but still making his way.
"I am sorry for the fuss"-said he in his squeaky voice after positioning himself next to my well dressed fellow traveler.
"Um"-said the well dressed man.Making it evident that he knew several men who lacks proper planning in life.
The newcomer took some time to settle.He first tried out several positions for his bags but when he found the right one, he was doubtful whether he took those essential documents he was supposed to carry on that journey and then he had to dump out all he had in his bag to check for the same.The process went on and the well dressed man meanwhile started with a book. Something of the size which my grandma uses to straighten her clothes(by keeping underneath).
After having his food newcomer turned to the well dressed man.
"Theology"-he asked indicating the book.The voice did have a tint of admiration.But that could be what the air about the man added.
"Yes"-said the man.The duration of the yes made it clear that it was no matter to be discussed with stupids like you.
But the newcomer managed to strike up a conversation.
The conversation went on and I could see that the newcomer was impressed. He resembled an attentive student.
And I turned my attention to other things.
After around two hours the well dressed man who was evidently happy of the opportunity to express his knowledge said to the new comer.
"For any doubts regarding that,you can refer this book"
"Thank you"-said the newcomer in a thankful voice.
Then the well dressed man went to sleep and the newcomer after re-positioning himself turned to the book..
"Ai...but this is my book"--said he in his innocent voice and without waiting for the well dressed man's response he went to other compartment in search of his missing bag.
"Art is the only serious thing in the world. And the artist is the only person who is never serious."
— Oscar Wilde
A Bull In A China Shop
When my mother told that she want to buy a new gold earring, I first looked at her ear to see whether she wore one.She had the upcoming marriage of her cousin in mind, but I felt she was being overcautious of the minor flaws in her existing earring being detected.This time I decided to check it out myself and thus I went for a marriage function after long eight years.
And as soon as I crossed the gate to the brides house I was proved to be wrong.
"Pushpa,new earing..!" exclaimed a flashing red colored saree.
"Oh,did she change the other one" said a blue colored saree,turning back
"But the other one was better" said a green saree,appearing from nowhere
"The saree looks good" said the green saree taking the pleats in her right hand and thereby displaying the bangles.
The blue saree and red saree exchanged glances
"Is that new ?"asked the red saree pointing to the forefinger of green saree's left hand.And I felt I would faint.
Feeling disgusted with myself for having come to the function I positioned myself in a corner to avoid being noticed.But the corner expressed it's inherent dislike to me and threw me to the central scene.And here comes a maxim.Wearing dresses in which you won't be noticed is the best way to be noticed at place where everyone wears dresses that will noticed.Still with some adjustments I managed to keep pace with the process.And I sat there like a fool(I could have said watching the fools,but let the majority rule as always).
Snobbery might be a feminine trait,thought I. But within minutes men made it evident that they are not willing to give up.
The imperial monarchs,referred to as uncles and grand uncles appeared in off-white dhoti and shirt creating fuss out of nothing -commanding the photographers as to from which angle the photos ought to be taken,scolding those children who were walking around for doing so and those who were not walking around for not doing so etc etc.I was at the brink of bursting out,but in memory of the great philosophers Stoic and Zeno I controlled myself.
After one round of discussion on saree's and ornaments ladies turned to their daughters and started describing their qualities.Boys meanwhile where selecting their future brides.And girls were enjoying the glances tactfully while acting as if they are unaware.Some middle aged men followed the monarchs like shadow,gaining experience for future.Newly married husbands threw proud looks at their beautiful wives.While some middle aged men were found to be in a dilemma..I slowly began to enjoy the scene,but before long it was time to leave for Temple.There again I had to take the aid of Stoic and Zeno.
Marriage party got delayed by ten minutes and bridegroom's party refused to tie knot as it was well past the scheduled time(fixed as per astrological calculations).And here comes the great game of God,Imperial monarchs became beggars in front of the monarchs of the other party.
I simply wanted to walk up to the groom,give him a slap and to walk back.But instead I slipped to the back veranda.After a few moments of delightful solitude, my hand drifted to my pocket and I found myself looking at the photo of three girls of which I was one.
Seven years back we were discussing the issue of marriages under the graceful evening sun unwilling to set so early.
"I will accept that boy who shall give me white rose"-said Ann in a voice suffused with passion.
"You mean a rose a day"-asked I
"Shut-up" said she"Romance is a sweet emotion which nerds like you both will never understand".
Within seconds she repositioned herself-staring into the eternal depths of pure love,and continued-
"....as a sign of eternal love"
"What as a sign of eternal love?"-asked Monica as if she was then suddenly dropped to that spot from above.
But Ann is not the kind of girl who gives up.After an hour of speech on eternal love she turned to me
"What is your view of an ideal proposal?"
"I want a guy to take my hand and to walk to an advocate.."
"You mean to file a divorce petition"-asked Monica
This time it was Ann's turn to laugh.But Monica was still doubtful.
"Stop it;To marry via special marriage act..:"-said I
"Not a bad idea,but you can file the divorce petition as well.."said Ann still laughing.."Two in one"
And Ann turned to Monica
"Now don't ask me such nonsense"-said Monica."I hate men"
Nostalgia shifted from the soul and appeared as a smile on my face.
Then my phone rang.
"Where are you now?"-asked my mother from the other end."Radhamani aunty wants to see you"
"Actually I am busy in the make up room"-said I, thanking my tongue for the timely excuse.
"But I am in the make up room"-said my mother
"Sorry..Actually I am in the wash room,but seeing people comb their hair I thought it was the make-up room"-said I.
"Shut up and come over here"-said my mother.
"But I haven't had my food yet"-said I trying another excuse.
"So you haven't had your food yet"-said a monarch who passed by in grumbling voice."It is time to leave"
Meanwhile marriage was over and monarch's on the both sides were standing together.Saree combinations nearly remained the same.
And I walked hoping that my legs would carry me to some spot other than make-up room.But what is to happen is bound to happen.The colorful combination was met on the way.
"So you haven't had your food yet"-said a red saree(I am not sure whether it was same saree which I saw in the morning)
"Still there is five minutes left"-said a blue saree
"..hm.it is ok.."-said I
"Shall I bring you a glass of payasam"-asked the compassionate among the group
"..ai no.."-said I
"But you shouldn't skip your lunch"-said another voice.
I hoped for some external aid.And a monarch did the job by ordering the group to get into the vehicle.
And no fuss in that matter, a delay may cause the group to stay in that place till the time becomes right again.
I followed them with some relief.Still wondering whether customs were made for humans or humans for customs-This time with greater vehemence as the custom had my lunch as its cost.
And as soon as I crossed the gate to the brides house I was proved to be wrong.
"Pushpa,new earing..!" exclaimed a flashing red colored saree.
"Oh,did she change the other one" said a blue colored saree,turning back
"But the other one was better" said a green saree,appearing from nowhere
"The saree looks good" said the green saree taking the pleats in her right hand and thereby displaying the bangles.
The blue saree and red saree exchanged glances
"Is that new ?"asked the red saree pointing to the forefinger of green saree's left hand.And I felt I would faint.
Feeling disgusted with myself for having come to the function I positioned myself in a corner to avoid being noticed.But the corner expressed it's inherent dislike to me and threw me to the central scene.And here comes a maxim.Wearing dresses in which you won't be noticed is the best way to be noticed at place where everyone wears dresses that will noticed.Still with some adjustments I managed to keep pace with the process.And I sat there like a fool(I could have said watching the fools,but let the majority rule as always).
Snobbery might be a feminine trait,thought I. But within minutes men made it evident that they are not willing to give up.
The imperial monarchs,referred to as uncles and grand uncles appeared in off-white dhoti and shirt creating fuss out of nothing -commanding the photographers as to from which angle the photos ought to be taken,scolding those children who were walking around for doing so and those who were not walking around for not doing so etc etc.I was at the brink of bursting out,but in memory of the great philosophers Stoic and Zeno I controlled myself.
After one round of discussion on saree's and ornaments ladies turned to their daughters and started describing their qualities.Boys meanwhile where selecting their future brides.And girls were enjoying the glances tactfully while acting as if they are unaware.Some middle aged men followed the monarchs like shadow,gaining experience for future.Newly married husbands threw proud looks at their beautiful wives.While some middle aged men were found to be in a dilemma..I slowly began to enjoy the scene,but before long it was time to leave for Temple.There again I had to take the aid of Stoic and Zeno.
Marriage party got delayed by ten minutes and bridegroom's party refused to tie knot as it was well past the scheduled time(fixed as per astrological calculations).And here comes the great game of God,Imperial monarchs became beggars in front of the monarchs of the other party.
I simply wanted to walk up to the groom,give him a slap and to walk back.But instead I slipped to the back veranda.After a few moments of delightful solitude, my hand drifted to my pocket and I found myself looking at the photo of three girls of which I was one.
Seven years back we were discussing the issue of marriages under the graceful evening sun unwilling to set so early.
"I will accept that boy who shall give me white rose"-said Ann in a voice suffused with passion.
"You mean a rose a day"-asked I
"Shut-up" said she"Romance is a sweet emotion which nerds like you both will never understand".
Within seconds she repositioned herself-staring into the eternal depths of pure love,and continued-
"....as a sign of eternal love"
"What as a sign of eternal love?"-asked Monica as if she was then suddenly dropped to that spot from above.
But Ann is not the kind of girl who gives up.After an hour of speech on eternal love she turned to me
"What is your view of an ideal proposal?"
"I want a guy to take my hand and to walk to an advocate.."
"You mean to file a divorce petition"-asked Monica
This time it was Ann's turn to laugh.But Monica was still doubtful.
"Stop it;To marry via special marriage act..:"-said I
"Not a bad idea,but you can file the divorce petition as well.."said Ann still laughing.."Two in one"
And Ann turned to Monica
"Now don't ask me such nonsense"-said Monica."I hate men"
Nostalgia shifted from the soul and appeared as a smile on my face.
Then my phone rang.
"Where are you now?"-asked my mother from the other end."Radhamani aunty wants to see you"
"Actually I am busy in the make up room"-said I, thanking my tongue for the timely excuse.
"But I am in the make up room"-said my mother
"Sorry..Actually I am in the wash room,but seeing people comb their hair I thought it was the make-up room"-said I.
"Shut up and come over here"-said my mother.
"But I haven't had my food yet"-said I trying another excuse.
"So you haven't had your food yet"-said a monarch who passed by in grumbling voice."It is time to leave"
Meanwhile marriage was over and monarch's on the both sides were standing together.Saree combinations nearly remained the same.
And I walked hoping that my legs would carry me to some spot other than make-up room.But what is to happen is bound to happen.The colorful combination was met on the way.
"So you haven't had your food yet"-said a red saree(I am not sure whether it was same saree which I saw in the morning)
"Still there is five minutes left"-said a blue saree
"..hm.it is ok.."-said I
"Shall I bring you a glass of payasam"-asked the compassionate among the group
"..ai no.."-said I
"But you shouldn't skip your lunch"-said another voice.
I hoped for some external aid.And a monarch did the job by ordering the group to get into the vehicle.
And no fuss in that matter, a delay may cause the group to stay in that place till the time becomes right again.
I followed them with some relief.Still wondering whether customs were made for humans or humans for customs-This time with greater vehemence as the custom had my lunch as its cost.
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